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Report: Good News for Donald Trump’s Waistline Is Bad News for America

Is Donald Trump going to run again in 2024? It’s a question that the United States—nay, the world—will likely be nervously asking itself for the next three and a half years, thanks to (1) his long history of teasing presidential runs until the last second and (2) the fact that Senate Republicans declined to ban him from ever holding office again when they had the chance. While Trump clearly hated the actual job of running the country, he obviously loved the power that came with it, as all despots do. Still, we probably won’t know what he’s going to do for some time, though according to a new report, we should be watching his waistline for hints.

Here’s Business Insider on the worrisome news:

The spray tan is gone, and the suntan is on. The bleached highlights are out, and the gray is growing in. Some of former President Donald Trump’s extra weight is off too, thanks to better eating habits and a near-religious regimen of daily golf in the Florida sunshine. “He has lost 15 pounds since he left the White House,” said one Trump advisor who spoke with the former president about his health recently…. The weight loss is no small feat for a 74-year-old man whose June physical-exam report pegged his poundage at 244—over the clinical threshold for obesity. Other advisers who have met recently with Trump told Insider the former president looks happier, healthier, and even svelte—relatively speaking—since leaving Washington in January under the cloud of a second impeachment trial. “He was eating all those M&M’s on [Air Force One] all the time,” said one adviser who’s watched Trump trim down since leaving Washington.

A slimmer Trump has Republicans wondering if the former president is already plotting a serious run for the White House again in 2024—something he and his advisers continue to mull, with little impetus to make a firm decision before the 2022 elections. “I think there’s an extra 10% to 15% chance he runs if he lost 20 pounds,” one veteran Republican strategist told Insider.

Up until recently, Trump had a famously terrible diet, with his preferred foods groups being Big Macs, meatloaf, and KFC; ex-White House doctor Ronny Jackson once said they had to hide vegetables in Trump’s food. The 45th president has also expressed some unorthodox views on exercising, like that the human body has a finite amount of energy, which physical exertion can only deplete. (“You are going to die young because of this,” he reportedly told an employee training for an Ironman race.) Previously, his former physician wrote a doctor’s note released to reporters that claimed he was in “extraordinary” physical shape, which turned out to have been written by Trump himself.

Anyway, losing weight is probably good news for his health, which is nice for the people who care about him (there are probably four of them? Maybe five?), though if it means a higher risk of him running again, terrible for society at large. Someone pass this man the M&M’s!

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