Movies

The CONFESSION BOOTH Returns To Purge Your Movie Omissions


No sooner have your souls been cleansed by the sweet, spiritual release of a Confession here at the Last Movie Outpost than you are all at it again. Sinning away. It is as if you imagine nobody knows you are sinning there, in lockdown, alone. You think nobody is watching. You are mistaken. The Goddess Gal Gadot sees all sins. As you filthy sinners just cannot help yourselves, it falls to me, the most reverend Reverend, to once again open up the doors to the Confession Booth to hear of your sins in the hope your souls can be saved.

As the representative of the Goddess herself, here on Earth, we must prepare ourselves for her arrival. Silence… she awakens!

Prepare your souls for a good, hard, cleansing!

Right… where were we? I seem to have lost my train of thought. Something about a cleansing? Now we must learn about the subject of today’s Confession. We are here today to hear of your cinematic sins through your sloth. Through your idleness. We will pass judgement over your movie-going omissions. Confess to us, my children:

What is the big, or important, or noteworthy movie that even you, one who considers themselves a movie-geek, has never seen?

Once more let he who is without sin cast the first stone, and let your most reverend Reverend show you the way by unburdening my soul first. Here I go…

…I have never seen a single Friday The 13th movie. Not one. I have seen a clip or two, but I could not tell you which movies they were from. I have very little interest in slasher movies, find them dull and not at all frightening. As a result, I have never felt the urge to get acquainted with the terror of Jason.

That felt good. As I beg forgiveness from the Goddess I can almost feel the sin pouring out of me. My soul is prepared. Is yours? Now, you must confess… CONFESS!

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