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The GOP Isn’t Sending Their Best, and Pelosi Isn’t Having It

The Jan. 6 investigation, yet to begin, has already met more Republican resistance than the actual insurrection it’s meant to investigate but nevertheless Nancy Pelosi is persisting.

First, the Speaker couldn’t get the bipartisan commission she wanted because Mitch McConnell deemed that “It’s not at all clear what new facts or additional investigation yet another commission could lay on top of the existing efforts by law enforcement and Congress.” That’s a fancy way for Cocaine Mitch to say there’s no way in hell he was going to let honest lawmakers armed with subpoena power suss out any new facts about MAGA lawmakers let alone the Commander in Chief himself planning for an attack or even helping the attackers as it happened.

So Pelosi is forming a select committee, like the Republican Benghazi committee but this time to actually investigate something and not just to smear Hillary Clinton’s reputation. But the No Puppet Party can’t have anyone looking at what everyone already knows about their adulterous orange golf cheat in chief and spiritual leader, so house pet Kevin McCarthy did retiree Donald J. Trump’s bidding and after making the sacred pilgrimage to Bedminister offered up two clowns named Jim in Banks and Jordan to turn the committee into a circus.

Not so coincidentally, Trump’s jacketless little buddy Gym Jordan — “There’s so many weak Republicans. And we have great ones. Jim Jordan and some of these guys, they are out there fighting. The House guys are fighting, but it’s–it’s incredible” — was a star of the ridiculous Benghazi committee Republicans used to establish Hillary Clinton as the Thanos of the GOP’s Alternative Reality Extended Universe.

As for Banks, Just after the assault on the capitol this committee is tasked with investigating, he voted against certifying Biden’s election, preposterously declaring that “The American people can hear for the first time in public, and broad daylight in a transparent way, a debate over the flaws and the constitutionality of how the election was conducted in 2020.” And after McCarthy offered him for the committee, Banks declared that he’d use it to “force the Democrats and media to answer questions so far ignored,” adding, “this committee would be studying not only the January 6 riot at the Capitol but also the hundreds of violent political riots last summer when many more innocent Americans and law-enforcement officers were attacked.”

It’s no wonder that Pelosi told them to piss off in a statement that smacked down McCarthy:

“Monday evening, the Minority Leader recommended 5 Members to serve on the Select Committee. I have spoken with him this morning about the objections raised about Representatives Jim Banks and Jim Jordan and the impact their appointments may have on the integrity of the investigation. I also informed him that I was prepared to appoint Representatives Rodney Davis, Kelly Armstrong and Troy Nehls, and requested that he recommend two other Members.”

That surely came as a huge relief to the Minority “Leader” who countered with a take-his-ball-and-go-home statement declaring that “Unless Speaker Pelosi reverses course and seats all five Republican nominees, Republicans will not be party to their sham process and will instead pursue our own investigation of the facts.”

The facts aren’t flattering to Republicans so their plan is to ignore the facts and throw shit at the wall and then try to blame Democrats for the stains and the stench.

McCarthy knew damn well what he was doing when he offered up two election deniers to sit on the committee in the first place. There’s no one in the world who considers jacketless Jim a serious appointment. He is a Trump sycophant who spends most of his time trying to say insane stuff so that he can get on Fox News.

With the rest of the party walking away, the only remaining Republican looks to be Liz Cheney, who Pelosi appointed after McCarthy kicked her out of the party’s leadership for calling an insurrection an insurrection and putting loyalty to country above loyalty to Trump.

Cheney is no fan of Jordan, reportedly recalling that on Jan. 6 she was on the House floor with “That fucking guy Jim Jordan. That son of a bitch… While these maniacs are going through the place, I’m standing in the aisle and he said ‘We need to get the ladies away from the aisle. Let me help you.’ I smacked his hand away and told him, ‘Get away from me. You fucking did this.’”

That’s a second-hand account, but speaking for herself on Wednesday, Cheney told reporters, “I agree with what the Speaker has done,” and ripped McCarthy for “playing politics,” calling him, Jordan and Banks “disingenuous” and “disgraceful.” The party’s former number three in the House added that “I think that any person who would be third in line to the presidency must demonstrate a commitment to the Constitution and a commitment to the rule of law, and Minority Leader McCarthy has not done that.”

Later, McCarthy held a presser where he called Pelosi a “lame-duck speaker,” which is kind of like something Trump would say if he wasn’t very good at insult comedy and then declaring that Republicans would run “their own investigation” which would be like a fire department staffed with arsonists.

Except that, as AOC noted, he doesn’t have any power to do that, since the grown-ups took away his matches when they booted his party from power in November.

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